


Celebration Time

by PrincessP_05



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Depressed Okumura Rin, Heavy Angst, Rejection, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-01-05 17:11:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21212144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessP_05/pseuds/PrincessP_05
Summary: People love to celebrate for all sorts of things. A new year coming, the return of someone. Even the end of things sometimes. The end of wars, the end of illness or simply, the end...That's the one thing that Rin wants to celebrate. The end, of him.(Not gonna lie, it's a mess...)





	1. Original

Finally! It is finally over. No more pretending to be happy or cheerful. It’s finally over now. So, I’ll be the first and only one to celebrate. But the more I think about it, they may want me gone too…

Why? Well, just look back on my life. It’s funny really. I’ve never had anything to celebrate until now. I was born cursed, the son of Satan. And that was me. as I grew up, I never got to celebrate the “joy” of reading: the words moved too fast for me to follow. And throughout my life at school, I never got any awards or trips, that was all left for my brother. The only thing to enjoy was my birthday. Another year, closer to my death.

And now, I have found out how it works. My twin brother, the younger, better one, gets all the fame whilst I must stay with shadows and pain. He didn’t have to watch dad die, but I did. And with that, I unlocked my powers, for nothing. I can’t even pretend I’m normal, no, I can’t even lie that I’m human anymore. I can only celebrate the day that I die.

I used to think that there was someone in this world who truly loved me and I would celebrate that. But when they found out the truth, the left me. both of them. Cautiously, one tried to be brave, but who’d love the son of Satan? I didn’t; no one does. So, I gave up on love. I gave up.

I thought that I was helpful, but it seems I never was. I can kill the ones who hate me, but instead, I kill the demons to gain the trust of humans. But they hate me, not because I’m a demon, but just because I’m me. So, I guess I will have to kill ALL the demons. Then and only then can I celebrate.

Finally! It is finally over. No more pretending to be happy or cheerful. It’s finally over now. They can all celebrate that the son of Satan is gone. I can finally celebrate. Oh yeah, I forgot. My life is a curse. Celebrating is something I’ll never do. And another thing, is die…


	2. Fixed Version

Finally! It is finally over. No more pretending to be happy or cheerful. It’ll soon be over. My life that is. And for once, there might be someone else happy. In fact, lots of people will be happy that I’m gone. And they’ll probably be safer too. They should’ve just killed me from birth if I’m honest.

Why? Well, from the day I was born, I’ve been hurting others. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Had to go back and re-watch what havoc I triggered before it should’ve been possible. And I’ve always been called a demon because that is what I am. A demon. But one with the worse curse, the curse of being Satan’s son. Yes, it makes me stronger, but there are no other good traits. It makes me more animal-like, as they’d told me. It makes me a threat and a disgrace. It makes me nothing but a curse. I was always told that, but it’s true; I am nothing more than a curse. _That is just how it works._

And even my younger brother wants me dead. We are twins, but only I was born with powers and the curse. I thought that maybe he’d understand me even a little, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be called a demon from birth just because you’re different. He doesn’t know what it’s like to only be able to mess up even the smallest of tasks and be labelled as a fool. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be so stupid that you can’t read. He doesn’t even truly know what it’s like to lose someone because he didn’t have to watch our dad die! And even if I try to tell him all this, he’ll never understand; if he does, he just refuses to care. _That is just how it works._

Truth is, I don’t need him to understand. Don’t need anyone to understand what it’s like. I just need someone to care. I thought there were people who cared for me. Firstly, Father Fujimoto himself. He raised me as if I was human, as if I was worth caring for, and all for what? I can’t control my powers and that’s what got him killed. Then there was Shiemi. She was too pure and I know that I kept scaring her now that she knows the truth. She was taken away so I could never ask her if she truly cared. And lastly, Bon. He didn’t like me at the start, but to be fair, I don’t blame him. He put up with me for a while, but then he learned the truth and now I’m unsure where we stand. But, that’s all part of this curse, everything I like is taken away. _That’s just how it works._

So I gave up on that. I don’t trust anyone to care for me, nor want them to because it hurts when they stop. They call me a demon, but I have human emotions. Demons call me human, but my power and strength say otherwise. It makes me an outcast in both Gehenna and Assiah. To humans, I’m a threat and treated as such. Anything I do or say can and will be used to kill me – though, to my disappointment, they’ll never reach as far is to kill me. to demons, I hardly strong enough. And I’m mortal and don’t know their ways. Anything I ty is seen as either a joke and a sign to show that I’ll be too easy to kill – but they too never get as far as to kill me. I have nowhere. _That’s just how it works._

Finally! It is finally over. No more pretending to be happy or cheerful. It’s finally over now. They can all celebrate that the son of Satan is gone. I can finally celebrate that I won’t have to live the cursed life. But it won’t work, I know that. My life is a curse. Celebrating is something I’ll never do. And another thing, is die…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it is definitely longer and hopefully better than the first one, but I don't like the layout. I think because it was made from a test, I was never going to be my best work. I might (emphasis on MIGHT) try to do this as a proper story on here with possibly a chapter for every topic. I don't know, we'll see.
> 
> Thanks for reading if you did though. I hope you somehow enjoy it, but my expectations aren't high.


	3. Final Version

Finally! It is finally over. No more pretending to be happy or cheerful. It’ll soon be over. Every second moves me closer; closer to my end. I don’t care where I end up, though we all know it’ll be Hell, I am just happy to be done with it all. What was the point of living all these years if I was the one getting left alone? What was the point of caring all these years if I was the one watching them die? What was the point of sleeping all these years if I was going to awake to another nightmare? What was the point?

➵➵➵ ✵💙✵ ➵➵➵

From birth, I was seen as evil. The wanted to kill me, but they couldn’t so instead they sealed my powers away. If they hadn’t, I’m sure more people would’ve died for nothing. And if I did die, it wouldn’t be too bad. But instead, they did… All the people who tried to save my mother, and all those who tried to kill her. And worse, she died before living the life she deserved.

Even from birth, I was labelled as a murderous mixture of demon and human, although, the human long faded. I wasn’t Rin Okumura; I was simply Satan’s Spawn or the Demon. Too others, I was nothing but a danger. I was blamed for the blue night, for all those deaths and all else. I gave up trying to figure out if it was my fault because it didn’t matter anymore.

Yukio didn’t die, but he was living as if he was dead with my burden upon his weak self. I thought maybe he could try and understand, but even he hates me. and too be fair, how could anyone love something like me? Many people thought they did, but look at them now.

Try as I liked to explain it, I was seen as evil to them and nothing more. And as I grew older every day, the hated me even more. But to be fair, who wouldn’t? I shouldn’t have been born and then all those lives would be saved. It was my fault that Satan was on the hunt to begin with.

➵➵➵ ✵💙✵ ➵➵➵

As we grew up, it became clearer. Yukio and I are twins, but we are on opposite scales. He got the love, got the praise, got the brains, even got the last cookie and the only curse he ever got was me. I got nothing except this cursed life and there was nothing I could do.

I thought that he’d take pity on me as I was his only brother, but even he hates me. He was never there when the fights started, but when it ended, he’d yell at me for getting into another one. He was never there when I struggled in and out to read, but when it ended, he’d yell at me for being too dumb to understand or simply lazy. He was never there when I watched our old man die the slowest, most painful death, nor there when I risked everything to save him, nor there when I nearly died, but when it ended, he yelled at me and blamed me for dad’s death. I always got his blame.

Birthdays were the only thing we could enjoy together. For him, all the celebrations from Christmas, having his spotlight for a while and usually nothing to yell at me for. For me, as I grew older, it just became one year closer to be death. After a while, that wish when we blew out the candles was simply to die. And it hasn’t changed, probably never will.

Try as I liked to explain it, he wasn’t ever proud. And when I got these powers, he hated me even more. But the more I look at it, who wouldn’t? I shouldn’t have fought all the time, I probably am too dumb to read and to be fair, it was my fault that the demons came to get me in the first place; that’s why he died.

➵➵➵ ✵💙✵ ➵➵➵

I thought it would be easy to be a teenager since my life was already at a bottom, but it was harder because of love. I had none. Probably the only 2 people who had ever seen light, pure light, through my soul were dead so they couldn’t give me love. I thought that there were two others for a while, but they left too.

First, it was Sheimi. I swear she is an angel. I always liked her and admired her bravery even if she wasn’t the strongest. She would always help and we got along quite well since we were both outsiders. But obviously, a demon like me could never be with her. When she found out who I truly was, she was scared, yet acted brave to help me. But she still kept distance and it makes sense. How could someone as pure as her love a demon like me?

Then, it was Bon. At first, we would argue on and off about everything. I never even thought we’d get to the friend stage, but somehow, we did. I genuinely thought he cared for me like Shiro and even my mum did. He’d help me stay calm whenever I was struggling, which was less often with him. He’d shower me in compliments whenever I was feeling down, which was less often with him. But it was too good to last, I was probably just a burden to him. How could someone as stable as love a mess like me?

➵➵➵ ✵💙✵ ➵➵➵

I was never wanted or needed, just a waste. To humans, I was the spawn of Satan and therefore was an enemy that the housed – that made me a waste of space to them. Then, to demons, I grew up with too many human emotions and therefore I was a weak prince – that made me a waste of breath to them. And, like all waste, I was thrown out. I never became a treasure to anyone like the saying goes, just waste.

And, as I sat there, slowly rotting away, I began to realize how much waste I was. I couldn’t do anything right and the things I could do, they were nothing special. There was always someone higher, better, more useful than me. That’s why I was put here, to be nothing special or useful, just waste.

➵➵➵ ✵💙✵ ➵➵➵

Finally! It is finally over. No more pretending to be happy or cheerful. It’ll soon be over. Every second moves me closer; closer to my end. I don’t care where I end up, though we all know it’ll be Hell, I am just happy to be done with it all. I can forget all about how many times I was left alone. I can forget having to see them die in my place. If I go now, the nightmares will end and I’ll just be able to sleep, so I’ll celebrate. But it won’t work, I know that. My life is a curse. Celebrating is something I’ll never do. And another thing, is die…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I'm not dead yet... (a shock for me too)  
But, I've been really busy of lately. I am still working on my other projects, but it's definitely not easy. I hope I can post another chapter of whatever soon.  
Anyways, I hope you like this final version. I tried my best so don't hate me...
> 
> Thanks for reading, love you all

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah. Funny story how this came to be.  
We were doing and English test in school and they gave us a picture. We had a different picture to the one we had all planned because our teacher chose a different picture to the others which kind of sucked. I wasn't sure what to do as it was either describe the picture (of the Big Ben with fireworks) oor write a story about celebration and then this mess cam to be.
> 
> It is not that good because I was tired and pressured, but I hope it is at very least readable (it is so much shorter thn I thought).  
Please leave some love and I hope you enjoy the better version when I'm done


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